The Need to Connect

Nearly two months ago, I was standing on stage in front of 300 people, staying at a hotel, going in the hot tub, shaking hands, and living in our previous normal. Almost one-week later, everything had changed. The first ever episode of ‘Communicate to Motivate’ centers on the current need and desire to connect. With social distancing orders in effect due to the coronavirus pandemic, I look at how people have the genuine, innate pull to connect with others and be part of relationships.

If you look at the human body from a systems and cellular perspective, we are biologically programmed to communicate. Cells and neurons work by communicating with each other and thus motivating the system or process to function. Everything about our bodies and brains shows us that we are meant to be in relation to others in order to learn and grow as human beings. We take our cues from our surroundings and the people around us. So when all of a sudden we can no longer be around people, even temporarily, that need inside of us still remains.

Social media and the internet have helped to satisfy that need even before social distancing went into effect. Facebook reports over 2.5 billion total users (the world alone has 7.8 billion people) and amazingly enough, over 500 million people check the app every few hours. That need to connect gets satisfied by accessing Facebook or whatever social media service we are programmed to use. Social distancing has forced nearly everyone online. Many individuals and groups are sharing amazing amounts of free content like fitness workouts, songs, speeches, art, motivation, prayer, and more.

There did not seem to be any hiccups with the connection part of life, only transitions with how we did it moving from in-person to virtual. Soon will come a time when society 2.0 debuts and we learn how to re-connect in person while maintaining some of the traditions we started while staying at home. If anything, these experiences prove how much we really do need people and connections in our life to help us feel whole. This episode dives into all this and more.  

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My pleasure!

Whose hungry? I travel a lot for speaking and training and no matter the hour at the airport, Chick-Fil-A has a line. Six restaurants surround the Chick-Fil-A in the Atlanta airport with a minimal line, but Chick-Fil-A will always be 15-25 people deep. The car line is usually full at our local one in Stuart, Florida, and people had meltdowns when they had to temporarily close for renovations last summer. So is the food that good there or is there something else? My money is on a little of both.

Kendra Cherry, author of ‘Everything Psychology’ writes that “there is some compelling evidence that shows consumers use emotions rather than information to evaluate brands. Emotions also create deeper and more visceral impressions that have impact on long-term memory.” I would also add that we allow companies we emotionally-associate with more grace than others. If they mess up, we can forgive and still return there later. In order for a company or brand to gain your emotional support that takes time and a lot of trust.

Readers can associate this post with any number of brands and even schools/organizations. If parents feel an emotional attachment to a school or district, they may be more willing to invest their time in volunteering, donations, and spreading positive messages about the school. However, schools and brands have to communicate to their audiences to gain this attachment. This starts with everything from the hiring process to the product to the culture of the establishment. Everyone has to buy-in to the mission and be willing participants in a positive culture. If people are spending their time and money at a place, they want to feel taken care of, heard, and catered to. We have so much choice now with retail, restaurants, and even schools (with charter and private schools appearing more) that brands need to be communicating more than ever to gain an emotional attachment.

You’ll see smiles, hear the words ‘my pleasure’ and be given $5 gift cards if your food is a tad bit late coming to your table at Chick-Fil-A. They have a mission to be good stewards to the community and are rewarded with unbelievable loyalty to their brand. A definite recipe for long-term success.

I'm Not Perfect

Who is? Communication has been a part of my life since high school where I always found human interaction to be quite interesting. It wasn’t until my time in college where I was able to explore communication in the academic sense and take nearly every class UF had to offer on the subject. I’ve never been the type to hide my personality or even my interests so people always knew that I liked studying communication.

Unfortunately, it was also used against me. In arguments with friends, family, or significant others, it nearly always got thrown back in my face. ‘You’re supposed to be Mr. Communication!’ That was always one of my favorites. I’m not perfect though and neither are you. Much of communication is a learned skill that we develop over time. Just because I teach it doesn’t mean I have mastered it in my personal life. I strive daily to work on holding my tongue and framing comments a certain way. I work on talking to my kids better and their own speaking style and manners. Just because you like something or are good at something doesn’t mean you have to be perfect at it.

The question should be- where is the effort? Are you striving to improve that area? Are you resting on your laurels? OK with where you are? The word intentional comes to mind. Being intentional with your actions to improve or simply build on what you are good at. So if someone calls you out or recognizes you for a certain area it’s ok to be glad you have a niche in something but realize expectations may be high in that area. Perfection shouldn’t be a goal but consistent and intentional time devoted to that area goes a long way.