Check out the newest episode of Communicate to Motivate!
The hit-show ‘Fear Factor’ in the early 2000s lasted six seasons and was a ratings hit for the NBC network. The show aimed to be a direct competition for CBS’s cultural phenomenon show called ‘Survivor’. TV viewers in the early 2000s sat on the edge of their seats (myself included) to see what each contestant would do next. With Survivor, the winning contestant won $1 million dollars, and Fear Factor earned you $50,000 for completing all the disgusting, insane acts. Whether it was eating bugs, crawling through rats, or some combination of both of those things, we all sat there debating and wondering: would I do that?
The internet came alive in the late 90s and started to really grow up in the early 2000s. We didn’t quite have social media yet but AOL profiles and chatrooms became the breeding grounds for Facebook’s eventual release in 2003/2004. Suddenly, more eyes were on our individual lives, decisions, and interests. We enjoyed seeing what others were doing in their lives and how they expressed themselves; thus creating a mild addiction to going online. We became connected like never before, and the ramifications had only begun.
First, the world of modern day social media…is…not…real! Couples will post their best, most perfect selfies. Families will show off their best smiles in the best lighting with a great caption. Friends will showcase amazing vacation photos that indicate a perfect trip. Some of us will browse various newsfeeds with jealousy on our hearts wondering why our lives are not like what we see online. Here is where the new habit and process begins.
It’s easy just to sit here and say ‘well, just don’t do it’ but we all know that is not practical. The better solution is to train our brains, as individuals, couples, or families, to not give fuel to those comparison thoughts. We can celebrate the fact that other people’s lives are different than ours without wanting those other lives. If that means limiting screen time on newsfeed, then so be it; but the priority should be more on self-control and thought-control, then on limiting social media.
The bigger issue may be why a couple keeps comparing themselves to other people in their lives. Why are their eyes constantly darting outside the relationship and seeing how they stack-up against other couples? In this case, it is best to look internally and diagnose what we need to fix as a couple so we don’t just become happy and content, but we thrive and progress. The world so desperately wants to add pressure and control to our lives, so couples need to prioritize their thinking. We need to be thinking about what we’re thinking about.
Life shouldn’t be a competition like Fear Factor or Survivor but, instead, be a place where we can show genuine appreciation and support for another’s accomplishments and goals. We can be the ones who change the direction of conversation and simply, stay in our lanes.
Check out the Communicate to Motivate podcast on ALL platforms. Here are some sample links below:
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/communicate-to-motivate/id1510785007
https://podcasts.google.com/?q=communicate%20to%20motivate