The human brain continues to be a fascinating organ to study, and scientists are still revealing new pieces of information to help us comprehend…ourselves. Consisting of 100 billion neurons and 100 trillion synapses and capable of nearly 1,000 basic operations per second, the brain is our life force and the key to who we are. It also happens to be one of the main reasons why you are good at listening or you are not.
The average human speaks about 120-150 words per minute. This should be a great rate for someone with regular processing abilities to understand and retain some of the information. Poor listening comes into play because the brain can handle so much more than what we are giving it. The brain can actually handle closer to 500 words per minute. Only three people in recorded history have shown they can speak this fast, with the Guinness Book of World Records showing the record holder at 655 words per minute! For the rest of us, this leaves a massive gap, called Spare Brain Time, where anything can happen.
When our brain has room to maneuver while listening to a story or lecture, it can lead to daydreaming or letting our thoughts drift to something else. The brain requires a lot of stimulation to make-up that spare brain time gap in order to show it that the information is salient to our lives. This fact shows us that intentional and active listening is the key to staying engaged in the conversation or communication context. It has to be a coordinated effort to stay locked-in, or we run the risk of our spare brain time getting the best of us.
The key is to ask paraphrasing & clarifying questions back to the talker during the listening process. We should be analyzing as we go, mentally reviewing the information, and taking notes depending on where we find ourselves. It takes an immense amount of effort to fully listen and not give into the hundreds of different thoughts that may enter our brain as we attempt to listen.
The good news is that, like much of communication, listening is a learned skill that can be worked on and strengthened over time. It’s a skill that when effectively used can help you to show genuine empathy and understanding toward the person you are engaging with. You can gain a deeper sense of their message by honing in on nonverbals and feel mutual connection in the long-run. Plus, aren’t some of you tired of your partner saying ‘you don’t listen!’ Once again, intentionality is at the heart of showing your brain that the person and information are worth it.