If you scroll back through the blog posts and podcast clips, we have covered a wide variety of topics related to communication skills inside of a relationship. Most of my friends and family are married, and I felt called to do the inaugural series on relationships. With a 50% divorce rate in this country, something has to be done. My home state of Florida averages 50,000 divorces per year which is good for 7th in the United States. These are eye-catching numbers that show we have issues with our relationships and families.
Now, one podcast and one blog post will not save a relationship but the intention has always been to seed plant. Even the best of relationships can use some fine-tuning as they evolve through the years. Couples that have been together for a very long time experience a wide range of events and experiences from births, deaths, houses, finances, kids, schools, and more. The innocent, wide-eyed love that started out evolves into a deeper, more personal relationship that sees two souls intertwined. Our identities almost become ingrained in the other person. This can be great but also brings about challenges.
If we lose our identity completely in the relationship, we may have a tendency to stop recognizing certain needs we have. When needs are not being recognized or met, conflict can arise. Some couples handle conflict very well and others hide from it. Some families put everything on the table, and others push it aside. As I said last week ‘Conflict is Good’ if done the right way.
The one, universal, absolute is that communication permeates the relationship. It envelopes it and is part of everything that happens or doesn’t happen. Even a lack of communication is still a form of communication. However, humans tend to get comfortable, hit the auto-pilot button, and coast on through life. How many of us are truly driven and motivated and see something through to the end? The same can be said for our relationships. How many of us are motivated enough to be vulnerable and put the relationship first? This means discussing core issues you both have with the right mixture of trust and comfort. This is when you see the relationship evolve to a point where both people are not just satisfied but thriving. You have then created new pathways in the brain for how you communicate with your partner and how you approach the relationship. Intentional actions force the brain to prioritize the relationship creating a deep desire and motivation to sustain it as long as possible.