Our society is in a unique place with many different ideologies and viewpoints straining for attention and change. There is so much misinformation flying around that is makes it difficult to know what to believe and what to do. As a parent, it has been difficult shepherding my family through this time period. I am the type of person who craves and tries to reinforce structure and stability. Those are not two words I would use to describe our current situation. When things are off with certain people, it can breed anxiety. This can most definitely negatively affect communication skills because we don’t want to appear vulnerable. Are you the type of person who likes to give the appearance that you have your stuff together? I know I am.
From a family standpoint, the Van Allan’s have built a system of open and honest communication. Our discipline is rooted in communication, and I always want my kids to understand why their actions matter and that consequences do exist. Parents discipline their kids in so many different ways and ultimately people need to do what works best for their family as long as something worthwhile is being done. Poor decisions and actions should not go left unchecked. Our kids are smart and will pick-up very quickly the loopholes in our parenting.
A family system is often passed down from generation to generation. These common family personality traits would lead to tendencies for certain actions and ways of thinking. If certain personality traits make us into the controlling type, we will have an iron grip on our families and their actions. If certain personality traits make us subservient, then we will have a tendency to go with the flow and be ultra-compliant. Both of these examples have ramifications on how we lead and act inside our families. They have a way of creating our family system that will define who we are for this time period.
Of course family systems can change over the years depending on events that happen but rarely does our core change unless there has been a catastrophic shift somewhere. This week is all about making conversation and communication part of your family system because it can help protect the family in the long run. This will ensure open lines are always present because as society changes, new flares of anxiety will rise up when we least expect it. We need a system in place that will allow those parents and children an opportunity to talk with each other so we do not go inward and try to manage it ourselves. This new series on ‘The Family’ will open up difficult topics that we all need to spend time dealing with in our own families. In the short and long run, it will all be worth it.