I am a sucker for all things nostalgia. Some of my favorite movies include time travel because of the character’s ability to go back in time and see how things once were. If I were a time traveler, I think I would spend most of my time in the past seeing how we have grown as a race and as a society. However, I am the type of person who likes to know who I am and from where I came. This is important to me, and I hope it will become important in my own family.
Rumor has it that my great-great grandfather, Lieutenant Patrick Sweeney, witnessed the surrender of Robert E. Lee’s Virginia army at Appomattox Courthouse in 1865. This was one of the final battles of the Civil War that brought it to a welcome close. He was an officer for the Union in the Civil War and his regiment fought near Appomattox and remained there after the surrender. We have no proof he was there, but that’s what makes it a good story because it’s up for us to decide! Luckily for the Van Allan family, we have a family historian, my Uncle Pete, who has amassed many records dating back hundreds of years. We even have family land somewhere in the middle of Canada!
There are more stories like this on both sides of the family that allow you to feel connected to what psychologists call your ‘intergenerational self’. Many leading researchers on family dynamics point out how important it is for kids to know about their family history. This allows them to feel connected to something bigger than themselves; it is their family narrative. The research makes it clear that kids who know more about their family history are better able to deal with the stresses of everyday life. They know they have been part of a resilient line of family members who have passed that down to them.
When we help continue our family narrative, we plug ourselves into our own history that made us who we are. This allows us to better understand ourselves, not just as members of a family, but as individuals. We understand our personality better and why we have certain reactions. It’s so important to have a good handle on ‘the self’ because we feel grounded and rooted in something. Our family stories connect us through generations and maintain bonds with people we’ve never seen. However, their stories are real, their struggles are inspiring, and it feels good to know we are continuing their legacy of success.