The hidden world of nonverbal communication is actually not so hidden if you just know what to look for. It is a system inside of our body that permeates into every area of our lives even when we are alone. We can read an article, see someone on TV, or read a post on social media and literally turn our nose up at what we see. Some of us may scoff to ourselves, roll our eyes, or deliberately change the channel or keep scrolling. Everything sends a message of our displeasure. It can work the exact opposite way as well if we see something or someone we like.
There are many areas of nonverbal communication that we do not realize we are bringing into our relationships. We love our partners and families and still try to maintain some assemblance of individuality. We still try to maintain our own emotions, wants, needs, and desires all while managing our partner’s as well as those around us. Sometimes that can become a burden causing our emotions to leak out via nonverbal communication. Nearly 93% of communication is nonverbal showing us the power it has. This emotional leakage can come in the form of sighs, eye roll, exasperated looks, turning away of the body, and so much more. As Julius Fast says ‘the body doesn’t know how to lie’.
Call it a cry for help or an intense, internal desire to communicate, but our nonverbals show our true colors, feelings, and emotions. Relational partners can use this information to open up new communication channels that were previously shut down or misinterpreted. Instead of being offended by what nonverbals signs we see with our partner, we can change our perception. Instead we can see them as an opportunity to engage with our partners on what is going on in their world. This does not have to always be done verbally though. It may be helpful to have a conversation if the context requires one, but the most powerful message we can send back may be nonverbally.
If I am at a party of large social gathering causing some social anxiety, instead of my partner questioning why I am behaving a certain way or criticizing my actions or moods, a simple hug, holding of the hand or light smile can change the direction of those interactions. Nonverbals have the power to change the trajectory of a moment with one or a few interactions. Sometimes what isn’t said is actually the most powerful.